In the world of psychology it is commonly believed that anger, fear, shame, and guilt are secondary emotions. Meaning they are not what is truly happening for a person. Just scratch the surface of these four (which is what all good therapists know how to do) and you will almost always find grief.
For many reasons most humans can’t stand feeling grief (which is such a bummer, cuz grief is some magical stuff…but that’s another post.) Grief is so disliked by our logical mind that it sends in these four emotional states to distract us:
Anger: who says grief is unacceptable
Shame: who says there is something wrong with you for experiencing grief
Fear: who claims that grief is scary and dangerous
Guilt: who says don’t pay attention to grief, focus on how terrible you are instead.
Oh boy.
Anger, shame, guilt, and fear definitely have their valuable place in the world, but if you frequently suffer from one or more of these four – check yourself for unattended grief.
Is just reading this post making a part of your body tense? Do you believe being grief-stricken is wrong or it’s not for successful/cool people? Do you ignore the (abundant) sadness of being alive? Do you believe if you allow your grief, it may never end?
This time of year, as much of Northern Hemisphere watches the leaves die, the days shorten, and the winds sweep in – grief is just in the air. This makes for a potent time to consciously be with it.
As I contemplate nature and grief, wolves come to mind. Wolves are so bad-ass for many reasons AND they rock grief. When they need to howl, they howl. No buts. No ambivalence. Just pure broken heart.
If this post speaks to you, take some time to simply be with your body and scan where some grief may be hiding out. Say hello, do a simple candle lighting ritual to honor it, feel the tenderness of your heart, write your feelings down on paper, and maybe…you know…cry.
Befriend the sadness of your heart and truly be free.
On a final note, here is an awesome video about the benefit of re-introducing wolves to Yellowstone National Park. I see it as a metaphor for grief (the wolves) and the human body (Yellowstone). Re-introduce grief and watch the eco-system of your body thrive.
Happy new moon,
xoxo
D
The post Anger, Shame, Guilt, Fear & Wolves appeared first on The Goddess Process.
