My Favorite Holiday: The Day of the Dead

If you asked me what my favorite holiday is I would have to say El Dia de Los Muertos – The Day of the Dead.

Not that I am morbid, but compared to other holidays, the really-realness of the Day of the Dead just wins me over every year. It is a complete match with my values in the following three ways:

1. It’s authentic: There is typically very little pretense at a Day of the Dead party. Everyone’s emotional truth is on the table: someone they loved crossed over. They are participating to honor their loved one and their grief.
2. It’s connected: Everyone who attends is instantly connected to each other because they have all met the incredibly surreal world of love+loss.
3. It’s healthy: Coming together with a small group to honor one’s grief is very healthy thing to do. Your emotional world (which greatly affects your physical, mental, and spiritual worlds) will thank you.

The Day of the Dead celebration is a stunningly elaborate creation in Mexico that requires weeks of preparation. I have some U.S. friends who go to town re-creating Mexico’s traditions: sugar skulls, homemade chocolate, traditional altars. They would all attest that the preparation is as nourishing as the actual event.

But if you’re like me – with a very fixed amount of time and energy – you can pull off a super meaningful night without all the traditional embellishments. Here’s all you need:

1. An altar made from a black box –  You can cover a cardboard box with black material or paint it with black spray paint. If you can make a three-tiered altar (a very large box on the bottom, a medium box in the middle, and a small box on the top) that is ideal.
2. Candles — A dozen tea lights are sweet and easy.
3. Drinks
4. Chocolate – Buy a handful of assorted chocolate bars for dessert.
5. Kleenex
6. Fresh flowers
7. Small plates
8. Scissors

Invite a group of close friends. The smaller the better, so try to cap it at twelve. Ask invitees to bring:

1. A picture of a loved one they would like to honor
2. The loved one’s favorite food for a potluck dinner
3. A fresh flower

After your guests arrive, have them put a small piece of the meal they brought, a piece of chocolate, and their flower (trim the stem with the scissors) on one of the small plates. Then giving everyone a turn (about 5 minutes each), invite them to:

1. Hold up the picture and introduce who they are honoring.
2. Tell a story about their awesome loved one.
3. Toast the loved one’s quality that they miss the most.
4. When they are done, have them place the picture on the shrine next to the small plate which is an earth offering to the loved one (according to Shamanism our ancestors LOVE when we make offerings of food and nature because they miss it so much.)
5. Finish by lighting a candle for the loved one and place it next to the food on the shrine.

After everyone has had a chance to share, the evening is finished off with the potluck, chocolate, and more informal sharing.

There it is.

I hope this inspires you to celebrate this special evening. You’ll be so glad you did.

xoxooxo
Dara

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